Today

Life changes so quickly. In the last week everything has been turned upside down. I have not panicked or lost it. I have been calm and serene. I will find an answer. I will make this work. I will soon have nightmares...but I have had these nightmares before. I wish that I hadn't, but I have. I know that the adrenaline will wake me but it will go away. I did the right thing and it worked out. I only wish I had someone to share all of this with. Just to get it out into the open where it isn't smoldering inside of me. But he too is gone. It is probably for the best but only time will tell and it was evil time that made it so. I am fine. I'll be ok. 

My heart is in pieces...

Sometimes, I feel like a horrible sister. Tonight is one of those nights.

Life isn't always easy.

And her heart was filled with a sadness that consumed her soul, but she knew it was because of the love she felt for him that he must go.

It's a problem.

I cradle my fear of men inside my heart.

Ennui

I'm having a day.

The kind of day where nothing you do is right.

The kind of day where I feel like a failure. 

I just can't seem to get it together.

My heart is hurting and I don't even know where to begin to make it better.

My sadness is overwhelming.

Bring on the second guessing in my head...

We all know that 

I am a mess.

BUT

When the dust settled 

after Jason 

Moved out

I 

PROMISED

myself that 

I would settle for nothing

less than 

amazing.

That I wouldn't 

spend my life

taking care of someone

and them not do the 

same in return.

I love him to pieces...

I hope I didn't make the wrong decision.

And at the end of the day it's ALWAYS about love.

Time to get back on track. Time to pull it together and be the best me I can be. No excuses.