Early Morning with Chloe

Bugs homework

I'm putting my trust in you...

As we all know...

I have horrible control issues.

I have to know what is going on

at all times.

I have to know where I stand with

certain people.

I have to know what people are thinking.

BUT

I'm proud of myself.

Today...

I just let go.

I didn't over analyze

I trusted that that 

someone had my well being 

in their best interest.

Let's see what happens....

Mantra for the day

That's Life...

All too familiar feeling...

Anxiety attacks

used to be a

daily way of 

life.

I used to have them 

once or twice 

a 

day.

I haven't had one in months.

But at 4:30 this morning

I woke up 

having heart palpitations

and 

I was out of breath

I won't go  back to that

I just won't.

You spin me right round

My world works in circles...

Cycles.

It goes back to the never ending

flight pattern that is my life.

I have changed the pattern...

But there are somethings in my life

that I don't know how to change

No matter how many times

we start again.

It's predictable.

and I don't like it.

Not this time.

So

I'm breaking another 

pattern.

I'm done

I can't do it anymore.

I'm so much more than that.

so much more.

Tru Dat...

If my honesty is my biggest flaw... then so be it.

Gluten free does not equal wheat free.

and I know this... but I just wanted to see what it taste like. CURSE you gluten free mini doughnut. You have me doubled over in pain when I really need to be sleeping.

Wakey Wakey Kids...

Easy like Sunday Morning...( but not this Sunday Morning)

Ahhhhhh

Sunday.

The day of rest. 

For Who???

Unfortunately

Lil Bug 

was sick yesterday.

Fever of 103.

Which I don't think has ever happened

So...

I got nothing done yesterday, 

and I have to fit it all in today.

Oh goodness.

I have a very busy day ahead of me...

It's Friday night... turn it up and shake yo Booty!!!

No... really ... I AM

The grass looks pretty effin green to me...

As I sit here 

drinking a glass of wine...

With some sexy ass music playin in the background.

I have to say....

The grass is pretty green where I am

My life is in no way perfect.

by no means am I saying 

all is in a great space.

But I'm 

HAPPY

SO 

HAPPY

I have a beautiful Daughter

an amazing Family

a kick ass best friend

and

my Christmas wish is hanging on strong.

I am

Genuinely smiling

from the depths of my being

Not much to report at this time...

There hasn't been much going on in my world lately

Things have calmed down since the move

Life has moved on as always

Lily was at her Dad's last night

so I thought it would

be fun to go out

with my 

bestie.

I had a headache all day...

and it just got worse while we

were at dinner.

I barely made it home 

before I ...well...

threw up.

when I got home

I went straight to bed.

Hoping that it would go away while I slept

The Nausea is gone

but the headache is still there

not quite as bad as yesterday...

but still there.

I am going to try to

relax a bit

but 

I have a ton of stuff I want to get 

done today.

I've seen you without your veil...not so pretty my love.

My mom always told me...

If you don't have anything nice to say

Don't say anything at all.

Ok...she NEVER  said that to me. 

AND 

I'm not good at 

that.

At All

But

My silence is going to be Golden.

There will not be a peep out of me.

I will be polite, and respectful.

That is where it ends.

I am in a new place in my life.

A good place. 

and the nonsense

is not an option in my world.

So...

I'm letting go.

I've seen the leopards spots.

Oh Great and Powerful Oz

You will be found out.

Time for Karmageddon !!

I can't go wrong...as long as I remember where I'm from.

I'm not so sure you even knew what you had...

Love this

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn  how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls(and texts), broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

Perpetual Landing Pattern

My best friend Tom once 

described my life...

as a 

Perpetual Landing Pattern.

like I was stuck in the air...but never landed.

Just circling around

Metro over and over.

I kinda laughed when he said it

but 

I knew he was right.

Albert Einsteins

 definition of 

insanity is 

doing the same thing over and over

expecting a different results

It's time to take a leap. 

Jump off the Crazy Train

Change things up.

Change bad habits.

Let go of things 

that just won't work.

Be proud to be me.

Such a Slacker...sorry.

I've been slacking on my blogging.

but for good reason

Jason

Moved 

Out

It took a minute to get used to it

to be 

ok

But I'm getting better every 

day.

AND

That is all I can ask for