This Can't Be It

As I sit here..16 days away from Christmas

I can not seem to get any 

Christmas Spirit

I have seemed to gather a little over the last 

probably Five years. 

But true Christmas Spirit has left me

and 

This Year 

I Desperately need it.

I have done all the things that I can think of to make it happen.

Christmas Shopping

Watching Christmas Movies

Listening to Christmas Music

Drinking Christmas Drinks

Going to see Christmas Lights

Nothing has worked. 

I have so much worry inside that I can't see past it.

It consumes me no matter how hard I try to get past it.

Something has to change. 

I can't be on this earth to just barely survive.

This can't be it.

I know there is a greater good that i'm here for

I just can't seem to find it.