Writing more often...

  I'm making writing on here a goal. I want to write more. It not only helps me get what I have in my mind out of my mind, but it's nice to look back at my thoughts and think either..."yeah I see what you were thinking girl" or " What the Hell? Glad we moved on from that." .

  So to start I'm going to talk about friends.
I had lots of friends...or so I thought.
I had people in my life that I shared everything with. I shared my goals, my daily life. My ups and downs.
I loved these people with all my heart, because as we know I only go all in. There is no half way in my world.
I grew up with these people. I spent 18 and a half years with them. Not all of them the same amount of time, but a good amount of time.
and then
I got fired from my job...

  I heard not a peep from them after that.
That was eight months ago.

I just realized they weren't ever really my friends, at least not the way I thought they were.

Now I'm not saying I didn't gain friends from that Job.  I did.

   I have Shelly who is an inspiration to me.
I have never met her in person, but she has become someone I wouldn't want to live my life without.

I have Jen Holbrook - Kohn, who tells it like it is. We are pretty much complete opposites, but I love her.
She is an amazing person with a huge heart. She has been through things in her life, but never let them hold her down...I admire that.

I have Miss Monica Sholar, who is the best cheerleader anyone could ask for.

but the people I spent day in and day out with... who I thought loved me as I loved them. didn't.

That is a hard pill to swallow, but I'm there now and it's ok. I'm ok.

I'm working on me, and using experiences in my life to make me a better me.

All of that has made me want to work on the connections I have with the people I do have in my life.

People should know that they are important to you. You don't have to tell them that all the time...but you can show them, by showing up and being in their lives NO MATTER WHAT.  The good times. The bad times, and the Holy hell I guess we are doing this times.

I want to be someone can depend on to be there. Not just say I'll be there.

Please, don't think I have any bitterness or hate in my heart for those that aren't in my life any longer.
I don't. I still care for them the same as I did. I want amazing things for them. I want them to live the best life they can.

Nor, do I think they aren't in my life anymore because they don't like me. I don't believe that either.
I just think they weren't strong connections. Not like the connections I want to make sure I make moving forward.


Much love,
Dana